That moment when someone tells you about a problem, and you start offering solutions but they annoyedly shrug it off because they’re already fixing it..
Or that moment when you confide in a friend because you need emotional support, and they just start lecturing you on what to do..
So on the triforce of communication you are sharing to be heard 🙂Me, responding to a colleague on a random update
The Triforce of Communication is a term that comes from the non monogamous communities, but it’s extremely useful in general life, coaching or management situations!
The triforce was coined by the Multiamory podcast in 2016 and nicely summarizes some basic modes of communication in any kind of professional or private communication. When communicating with others, it helps to establish where on the triforce you or them are basing your communication from.
To quote the summary in their DLC edition..
- Triforce number one, which is building intimacy or sharing.
- Triforce number two, which is seeking support or acknowledgement, and
- Triforce number three, which is seeking advice or problem solving.
In the opening paragraph, they were communicating on triforce one, sharing their plight. And so was the colleague from the quote. And in the second one, I was communicating on the second level, looking for support. Yet both examples got a response in triforce number three, trying to solve the situation presented.
Realizing what the goal is and matching the goal makes for better conversations all around. And sometimes it starts with just observing for yourself what you’re looking for.
An invaluable communication tool.
Check them out!
- The original episode: https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/83-triforce-communication
- The DLC edition: https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/159-triforce-dlc